Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
she was so not down for the gang bang
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
