We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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