So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
