come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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