Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
