Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
don't judge my taste in strippers
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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