You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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