you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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