Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Randomize
