sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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