I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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