This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
