You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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