Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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