Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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