Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
