Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You may now shotgun with the bride
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
