you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
