she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He's a Shit stain on my heart
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
