Are we in a gay sports bar?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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