You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
