at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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