The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
