I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
