life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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