and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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