it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
