just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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