Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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