That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Randomize
