I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
