Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
