is your mom at the bar?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
