after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
