We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
