yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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