I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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