You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
