I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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