that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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