okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
