I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
your room smells of hookers.
And success
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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