FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
