4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
