You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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