question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
