That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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