I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My vagina is officially offended.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
