Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Holy shit dude........stairs
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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