then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
