Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
